Book Review: Healing in Times of Grief
Raphael Mweninguwe reviews Gaolapelwe Badumedi Matsetse-Mpete's Understanding and Navigating Grief
In this insightful review, Raphael Mweninguwe delves into Gaolapelwe Badumedi Matsetse-Mpete's book, "Understanding and Navigating Grief," offering a thoughtful analysis of its content and significance.
The Biblical scriptures in Matthew 5:4 records what Jesus said about those that are grieving. The Bible in this Chapter gives hope to those in grief-Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Losing a loved one can be devastating and traumatizing. Jesus offers hope to those that are in grief due to loss of their loved ones and gives wisdom that can significantly help the process of healing after the loss. Gaolapelwe Badumedi Matsetse-Mpete offers the same hope in her latest book, Understanding and Navigating Grief, which is dedicated to her family following the loss of her young brother, Gofamodimo Modumedisi Matsetse due to Covid-19 pandemic.
The writer says the book was inspired by her own personal journey of loss. She says she felt it necessary to share her traumatic journey and to bring awareness with deeper understanding of what grief is, in a bid to help the next person who is also struggling with grief. She writes that when one experiences the trauma of the death of a loved one, heart of that person expands to accommodate other people.
"The death of a loved one, especially a family member brings excruciating pain. It is overwhelming, with waves of emotions ranging from deep sadness, guilt, shock, regret, emptiness, at times numbness to anger," she writes.
The writer knows what it means losing someone you really loved and she is making sense of a tragedy and she is ultimately helping those in mourning on how to get healed. Healing is not an event but a process, she writes. Based on her experience after losing family members the writer highlights key events that befell her family in 2021 when she lost a brother while at the same time her dad was struggling with pandemic but managed to survive it. So many people get traumatized with the loss and some commit suicide. Many are mentally affected after losing those whom they loved so much. Gao as she is sometimes called, encourages those that are going though such a difficult time that life should move on despite the loss and offers a number of ways in which one can be comforted.
The Bible has so many comforting verses that comforts us after losing someone but the writer takes us to some of the reasons why we grieve and the type of grief we encounter and how we can overcome them. She points that although one may never get over a loss, but it is crucial that the one who has lost their loved ones should learn to live with it. He narrates that it should be well understood that grief is an unavoidable part of life "however you can learn to understand it in order to successfully work towards processing and accepting the loss. That is key to healing."
Death is not something that one gets prepared for. Even though one knows that their loved ones have been sick for sometime but they will still grieve for the loss. In life nothing can prepare us for the death of a loved one. Death is something so deeply personal and stunningly final; nothing can emotionally prepare us for its coming. We need to understand that with every death, there is a loss. And with every loss, there will be grief.
The writer also writes about how we should behave culturally. In our culture we are reminded that we need to forget about the loss and quickly move on with life. But as we grieve, says Gao we cannot resist the demands of grieving. It's so hard to avoid it. Friends and relatives may not know how painful it is losing such a loved one and grief is a necessary part of our healing process.Â
Published by GloryHouse Publishers, the book which has 10 chapters also offers counselling lessons for those that have lost their loved ones giving hope and not despair to the people who are mourning.
Towards the end of the book the writer offers her final words of hope while in grief. She encourages those that are grieving to accept the loss, have time of their own and meditate, create space for themselves and also they should not forget about their own health. Many a people suffer mentally because of the loss of someone they really loved. Grieving can be the most difficult time for those who have lost their loved ones. People must try to balance the feelings of pain and loss in their everyday life. Gao writes that you should give yourself space and time, and be honest with your emotions. She encourages us not to grieve alone and she also encourages us not to lose hope. Although the writer had not dwelt much on the scriptures, it is worth noting that the Biblical verses allow us to turn to scripture for ease and comfort as we overcome grief.
While I recommend this book to those who are in grief it is also good for any other person to read it. Gao's narrative voice in this book is wonderful and touchy. She is serious based on what she has gone through which makes for an engaging read. It feels absolutely real and when you read the book you become part of a grieving family. She writes from her real-life account. Her emotions and the dialogue are so genuine, and they are spot-on for someone who has lost a loved one. Please read it!!
About the author:
Gaolapelwe Badumedi Matsetse-Mpete is the CEO of Bonton- Botswana Consultancy (Pty)Ltd, She is a Law Graduate, currently an LLM Candidate (Masters of Law) with Cumbria University,UK. She is a published Author of 3 Books (IN HER OWN VOICE, UNDERSTANDING AND NAVIGATING GRIEF and OVERCOMING). She is also the Founder of Women Achievers awards (A platform that celebrates and honours Women and Girls excelling in their respective fields) and Literary Women Circle (A Book club that reads and reviews books) in Botswana, Southern Africa